Ima hit you with that goodness, find something that makes you want to learn. I spent 20 years doing the bare minimum in school and got to college without a clue in my mind as to what I really wanted to do. I joined the ROTC program at my uni, got a full ride through them, and was doing a standard business degree. Wanted to put a bullet in my head most days, and I drank constantly for a year, becoming a real piece of shit in the process. Some medical shit went down, I got sent home on medical leave of absence, and I wasn't allowed to continue classes until I was medically qualified again. I spent a year, being isolated, depressed due to my actions, and fucking mindlessly existing while searching for something to do, something to take my off the noise. I always liked science, but never gave a fuck about math enough to be able to get into it. And as autistic as this fucking sounds, I then played kerbal space program. I had the game for years but never really PLAYED it, and Jesus christ I was hooked. I no longer cared that math took alot of work and time to master, I no longer cared about the bullshit of college and all the stupid fuckwhit classes you have to take, and I no longer cared about what I had failed to do before because I'm going to fucking do it now. I was released from the program under medical discharge, my scholarship was rescinded, and I could not be more thankful for the year of misery I put myself through, because it gave me the reason to get myself out of it. Find what gets you moving, what you want to talk about with everyone, and if you're like I was (intimidated by my own stupid view of topics and ideas) don't be. I'm now taking higher level math and no part of it can't be understood (the science was never my problem cause it was always cool), all you need is a reason to want to learn it.
