More consciousness pseudoscience

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Phenomenal consciousness will never be explained by science, because it's simlpy how processing information is experienced by whatever is processing it, and it's just some basic property of our universe. It cannot be deconstructed by any objective, scientific tools. If you had a perfect knowledge of the brain and a magical MRI machine that would allow you to track the brain function in real time, you'd find memory, self-awareness, intelligence; but you will find no explanation to why it all results in a conscious experience. A few facts pointing to that:
1. Phenomenal consciousness produces no objective effects in the outside world, other than the agents (humans) claiming to have it.
2. If we assume that there is some formulaic explanation for it, knowing such explanation would not allow us to have a subjective experience other than our own, ergo the existence of it is nonsensical.
3. Phenomenal consciousness would have to emerge in some form in very simple systems (like very basic Qualia). Otherwise evolution would not be able to produce it by random chance, because evolution is a sum of small steps.
4. An already well established fact - we cannot really even properly define consciousness, so we are powerless in asking meaningful questions about it.

That only leaves me with a pseudo-statical question related to the anthropic principle - if consciousness is basic, why am I a human and not just a cloud, two atoms colliding together or any other system that does some information processing and is vastly more probable? But I suspect that's a function of self-awareness and memory, that somebody smarter could link to entropy and information theory; and it has little to do with qualia/consciousness being unique to the human brain.

I've been unemployed for 5 months and I think my personality disorder is winning anons...