I have ADHD and deviated septum. Conventionally medical solutions did not help. 90% of my life is just blank, autopilot. I am very rarely self aware and whenever I am conscious, I constantly crave those few moments in life where I was in control of my life. When I turned 20 it got significantly worse and I'm pretty sure I will just be an NPC by age 30

What are some biological and scientific reasons and solution to this problem? I've already tried all the normie sources like google and reddit and got no answers.

I just want to live again. How do I fix autopilot?