>>12582786I wouldn't say I could pinpoint a specific time and date when I started thinking "I wanna be a woman", it was more of a process. Actually wanting to be a woman is fairly recent for me, but for far longer I've hated being a guy. I hate my leg hair, I hate my rough skin, I hate a lot of my masculine features. I've never felt like I was adequate as a guy, either. I'm shy and very sentimental and I cry a lot and other guys always mocked me for being that way. I tried taking up numerous "manly" activities (sports, shooting, outdoorsman shit) to try and feel better about being male but I never liked them and felt like I was just faking it all. I guess what made it cross over into actually wanting to be a woman was finding out that I was interested in things like makeup, fashion, etc. The more I think about it, the more I realize that my personality and interests are far more feminine than they are masculine, and I feel like being a woman would allow me to express myself authentically instead of just faking everything all the fucking time. I think I would feel a lot better about my body, too, I feel there's a lot of beauty in the female form that I don't have. It just feels like everything would be better if I were a woman.
The torturous part about it is that I know it can never be true. I know that taking hormones, getting speech therapy, and cutting a hole between my legs wouldn't make me a woman, and I don't have the ability to delude myself like other trannies do. So, if there's no cure for it, then I feel it would be better to just tie a noose than live the rest of my life in the midst of a perpetual identity crisis.
