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i am the same, but at least we are self aware enough to start making a change. go to therapy and dont whine about ur feelings or this or that but say look currently i am x y z and i dont like that i want to be a b c (for me those things were antisocial, few friends, anxious about social stuff). u say to the therapist, pls give me exercises to do to overcome this, i will do what you tell me, but i just want a guide to fix my life. if ur as lucky as i was ur therapist will give u literally an autistic checklist, and you will get addicted to the improvement u feel when u do these things, and feel urself unlocking ur chad potential. it is confidence like the other poster said, but you cant just acknowledge that its confidence and magically fix it, u need to spend time every day doing stuff to fix it. of course, you can ignore this and keep jerking off and playing video games but trust me with a therapist to handhold ur autistic ass through the process of self improvement, if ur anything like me, is a good idea. to be honest i got this idea and started this from an interview i saw with james murphy of lcd soundsystem. search "james murphy on failure" from youtube and see if it speaks to you