Why does drinking and sleep deprivation kind of make me feel better and almost like a different person, freer and truer, despite it also feeling awful? I'm a much more original thinker when I haven't slept while also being irritable as hell.

Am I too anxious? Am I depressed? Does this break through it? I often feel I'm in a permanent state of alertness and fear, it cloys my mind and stops me from doing much but distracting myself, escapism, and 'waiting' endlessly.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ1yFhjRnNc