> be me
> grad student in math
> online colloquium taking place for young researchers
> all the other attendees are making small talk about how awkward it is to present work that they're still working on
> qt3.14159 joins in the conversation
> she even looks like kurisu makise
> need to impress her
> we'll do math together and raise mathematical prodigies, it'll be so fucking cool
> some dorky asian guy says "i always panic whenever i'm in the middle of a proof, so if i freeze up go easy on me!"
> want to know what I say in response?
> "Yeah, I guess it's kinda like accidentally crapping your pants when you're really deep in a calculation"
> everybody goes quiet
> "i mean, has that happened to you before?" comes a tentative reply
> "Hasn't it happened to most mathematicians?"
> complete silence until the first speaker comes up

I feel like shit. I paid real money from my own bank account to get a place in this colloqium because my Student ID isn't recognized by the math department yet. We have to do group talks in the afternoon for discussions and I really don't know what to do.