>>12306899I see
I dated a girl once who had a very tyrannical mother. She was predisposed to a lot of very potent emotional outbursts, alongside having to constantly surrender to the power her mother asserted over her.
As a result, I believe, she was very prone to emotional outbursts, while also constantly trying to instigate emotional outbursts in our relationship. She was also extremely submissive, to the point where, the, it made me uncomfortable.
I came from a very loving and nurturing family and didn't have sex until I was 19, so I wasn't predisposed to that stuff. It kind of irked me that she didn't really have her own identity to act through, and wanted me to basically tell her what to do in an intimate setting, but I guess that's just who she is.
I find that our stimulating experiences in youth, whatever they may be, go a long way in shaping who we are, but anyone can change these things if they want to
Have you ever been intimate with anyone?
Do you have any intimate relationships that haven't been (what's generally classified as) "fetishized"?
Maybe, one day, in a non-fetishized state of mind, and with someone who you have not projected fetish onto (might take a bit of dissociation from fetish), try taking LSD with a partner, and simply sit yabyum pose (in physical union) and eye gaze.
Just a suggestion. It can open your mind to a fundamentally different relationship with sexuality, and perhaps yourself.
The sexual self and the rest of the self are largely related.
If we change our sexual identities, it goes a long way in changing our own identities.
Not saying you need to change or that it's bad or anything. Just a suggestion, especially if you feel with self hatred. Usually I find it's good to explore when that's the case.
