(Kindly move this thread if this is the wrong board. Apologies in advance.)

Good evening

I'm fascinated by topics like math, programming and electrical engineering, yet I'm not able to comprehend any of it. I have no higher education, but always dreamed about going to university. Of course no uni would take me, I'm also too old now.
I find it increasingly difficult to deal with my incapability of grasping difficult or abstract concepts. I start to envy the truly stupid and oblivious. I'm useless.