>>12151525Many people watch children playing with dolls and assume they're practicing child rearing, trying to see from the perspective of others. In truth it may well be they're actually practicing being human. Child grows up, ahs kids, and resumes playing with dolls in a new way. Children are little more than raw material to shape into golem. We think we have a strong individual "self", a "personality", but in truth we're simply a kaleidoscopic amalgamation of the reflections and demands we received from others in early childhood.
Look up parentification and "emotional incest", the primary issue is not "adut" subject matter, it's roles. If you are talking to the child about adult things, crying on the child's shoulder, asking for advice constantly, telling them about your sex life, complaining about the other parent, having them make all the decisions, you destroy their ability to separate from you as a parent. I can tell you that with my mother I was everything but a child. I was her father, her brother, her friend, a stranger, and perhaps even vaguely a spouse. I was forcibly and subtly shapeshifted from the outside, and gradually, learned to conform and chameleon accordingly. When you do this, you're basically creating God, you're molding and manufacturing a God via the child so that something can give you the love and support you never received from your own family. I always felt like I had to try to make my parents happy, or just less miserable. I didn't feel seen.
Basically, I've often viewed myself more like an object, or a force of nature. One of the many effects I've recentl6y realized, is I tend to turn everyone into either a parental figure, or a child. It's still the same template. I'm like a mirror, or a blank where people project what they want to see, and they believe in it. I think my internal world would be an empty city, or perhaps a forest with no animals. It funnels you around, but there is little resistance. Haunting.
