I’ve always been extremely passionate about learning - precocious child shit, voraciously read everything I could get, told I was a genius (not something that kids should be told, btw) and that I’d do great things. I dropped out of high school early and got a GED because I had severe social issues - drug use to cope with childhood abuse, plus mental illness (that went undiagnosed despite being apparent and disruptive, because the early childhood psychiatric system pretty much only targets kids with bad grades) - but I didn’t let that hinder my education. If anything, I had more time and capacity to study once I quit going to school.

I studied astrophysics at a good university and dabbled in several other fields, but the more I learned and the better I got at academic research, the more I became aware that the state of the world is deeply and nigh-hopelessly fucked.
Climate science and earth systems, biogeochemistry shit, that nearly killed me when I crawled out of that research rabbit-hole. Ecology, how the FUCK does anyone study ecology without killing themselves or going mad?

I had to quit my academic career to try to survive my depression, hysteria and panic attacks.
I can’t stop learning (and I got a menial college job so I could keep digital journal access) but I’ve had to sort of resort to escapist fields to cope. I’ve read absolutely stupid amounts of archaeology and history literature, just because I can spend weeks at a time on a topic without ever feeling awful. I’ve recently taken up mycology and soil science, which is hopeful and fascinating, but I felt compelled to ask:
HOW THE FUCK do you study ecology, economics, chemistry, engineering, or ANY of that shit without being driven to despair or rage at the absolute fuckery of modernity?