after a lifetime of school and jumping through bullshit, and then followed by a near decade long mild burning slump, i had to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me, and over a vape and coffee i figured it out. i developed an aversion to the english language. i fucking hate it. its not my native language, i was taught korean first, but its the language im most proficient in. i started learning japanese and reviewing korean a couple years ago, and developed an interest into japanese authors. but people around me have been wondering - why are you choosing to spend your time studying japanese? it seems meandering anyways. i tell them to fuck off and leave me alone, but i know they're right. after all the bullshit that is spoken and written in the english language, i found that rather than hate the people that bullshit, i cannot even stomach the tongue itself. i read a little bit in english and my eyes start rolling in my skull.

anyone relate? how do i get over it? i have so much shit i have to keep reading for my livelihood.