This is the log of Dr. Goldbergowitzstenoffman. In the hopes of discovering the secrets to manufacturing military grade autism, we have begun exposing the subject to a number of substances we believe might trigger the production of sperg in him, the mysterious chemical whose synthesis has so far eluded scientists. We have detected in the subject a heavy increase in sperg as we showed him representations of anthropomorphic animals copulating with one another. Correlating with this increase, we have observed a number of behavioral shifts in the subject, who has now begun to request we refer to him as "Meadowcat Oddpaw". One such shift appears to be how the subject persistently offers me and my assistants to "yiff" with him. Though we believe we are one step closer to finally producing a quantity of sperg great enough to be weaponized by the military, it clear to me that further research down this path is ill advisable. I must destroy my life's work to prevent the moral erosion of our great country.