>>11936666>>11936690>>11936772>/sci/ critHe would have about 10 seconds before he passes out so thats fine if he did it fast enough (~5s), but the vacuum would hurt like a bitch and his flesh would fairly quickly start to go red and swell. Pretty well depicted on these points.
But the cigarette would not stay lit, you could gasify some of the material and if you added oxygen fast enough (really fast), it could potentially still light then, but its not going to be lit before you add the oxygen and the flammable gas will very quickly disperse in the low pressure environment.
The bigger problem is that without external pressure pushing air into his lungs he's not going to be able to take a drag at all, so its all ultimately a pointless exercise.
>lit critWriting isn't perfect, but that's a matter of practice. One piece of advice is cut down on the he said, he yelled, he asked etc. Unless you're expressing something that isn't in the dialogue (e.g. his voice being raspy after his stunt, thats fine), or you can't use other cues to keep who is talking straight in the readers head, you can cut some of them.
Try not to use parenthesis. Commas are fine.
>Stalactites were virtually absent, in this section at least. Descriptions a little clunky in parts but I don't really have any specific advice for fixing that beyond practice. Some of wording and analogies are odd. A sock being put over a foot is an oddly light way to describe someone being violently consumed by a monster.
Overall, I'd read it.
