Greetings /sci/,
Instead of an easy summer gaming, shitposting and avoiding the sun, my cunt of a mother is insisting that I “carry my weight” despite COVID-19 offering the perfect excuse for me to not work. This includes humiliating menial tasks such as emptying/loading the dishwasher, vacuuming, watering the garden and other nonsense. But the worst task of all, my person Augean stables, is I am forced to walk the damned dog. I didn’t want the thing but I’m starting to think they got it to make my life hell and force me outside.
I absolutely refuse to pick up the dog’s shit. Apparently, my strong stance has not gone unnoticed because there is now bitching on the Facebook neighbourhood page about increased dog shit. My cunt-mother asked if I was the culprit and I said I would never pick up an animal’s shit and I guess I can’t walk the dog anymore. Instead, she threatened to change the WiFi password and even withhold paying for my phone if I didn’t pick up the shit, so I’m at a crossroads.
I concocted organic ersatz feces that I could carry around in a dog shit bag so that the neighbours would see that I was “doing my civic duty”. I also left filled bags in the garbage so that my cunt-mother saw the evidence. I created it using almond flour, cream, chia seeds, corn starch and cashews. The consistency was perfect but after a couple weeks my cunt-mother complained about “who was using all the almond flour and cashews” (she’s a gluten-free superfood psychopath). Also, I would often reuse the “filled bag” for a few days but it would start to smell rancid and was almost as bad as carrying dog shit around.
Do you have any ideas for how to make such an ersatz dog shit compound that (1) has the weight of dog shit, (2) can be molded into a cylinder without falling apart quickly, (3) is reusable for up to two weeks and made out of cheap ingredients and (4) has some sort of preservative that will prevent a stench or decomposition?
Thank you in advance.
Instead of an easy summer gaming, shitposting and avoiding the sun, my cunt of a mother is insisting that I “carry my weight” despite COVID-19 offering the perfect excuse for me to not work. This includes humiliating menial tasks such as emptying/loading the dishwasher, vacuuming, watering the garden and other nonsense. But the worst task of all, my person Augean stables, is I am forced to walk the damned dog. I didn’t want the thing but I’m starting to think they got it to make my life hell and force me outside.
I absolutely refuse to pick up the dog’s shit. Apparently, my strong stance has not gone unnoticed because there is now bitching on the Facebook neighbourhood page about increased dog shit. My cunt-mother asked if I was the culprit and I said I would never pick up an animal’s shit and I guess I can’t walk the dog anymore. Instead, she threatened to change the WiFi password and even withhold paying for my phone if I didn’t pick up the shit, so I’m at a crossroads.
I concocted organic ersatz feces that I could carry around in a dog shit bag so that the neighbours would see that I was “doing my civic duty”. I also left filled bags in the garbage so that my cunt-mother saw the evidence. I created it using almond flour, cream, chia seeds, corn starch and cashews. The consistency was perfect but after a couple weeks my cunt-mother complained about “who was using all the almond flour and cashews” (she’s a gluten-free superfood psychopath). Also, I would often reuse the “filled bag” for a few days but it would start to smell rancid and was almost as bad as carrying dog shit around.
Do you have any ideas for how to make such an ersatz dog shit compound that (1) has the weight of dog shit, (2) can be molded into a cylinder without falling apart quickly, (3) is reusable for up to two weeks and made out of cheap ingredients and (4) has some sort of preservative that will prevent a stench or decomposition?
Thank you in advance.
