>>11897524i'm not sure, my IQ is 143 (WAIS IV) and I am depressed as well. my issue is, nothing ever satisfies me. i try to look for meaning in stuff, and try to set goals and attain them to gain purpose. this sometimes makes me believe that if i finally attain X thing i'll be content. but after I attain said thing, I still reside in the same awful, gloomy place that I'm so deeply set in. I have everything, I'm a medical student and this is what I've wanted to do since forever, my family is wealthy, I have all the support I need, there's nothing missing from my life
And yet it all still feels so empty and insipid. I feel vacant inside and I don't know if this is how I'll be forever. I would much rather die if that is the case.
I seem to be trapped in a hamster wheel, always looking for the next thing that'll make me happy and fulfilled.. this was the case with medical school, getting a girlfriend, etc., but it's always the same, when I attain said thing, I feel a vague sense of accomplishment followed by a realization that I'm still empty handed. This has been my entire life, rinse and repeat.
I don't know how to break out of this. I just want to feel content, fulfilled, and not like I have a void inside of me.
Maybe I should just accept that there is no happiness for me, that I'll just suffer if I seek happiness and have such expectations. Maybe I could get used to
the suffering if I truly accept it as being okay.
