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regarding possibilities we do not know anything. Anyone who tells you otherwise is very likely lying to you.
I suggest trying to believe in a god/s, seeing life as a test to an extent. If there's nothing, then there's nothing. If there's a god it was good that you tried to be in that framework doing the best you could for your discrete training.
In terms of what you are, I think there's a slight "code" determining how your mind works, intelligence and your personality, it is also largely environment. Most people don't exist with this code other than non corrupted kids and a few people at peace who leave the false social frameworks and exist as them and nature simultaneously.
You are very likely not yourself, don't try to "find yourself" by reading some book like that. It's more about filtering out what you are not and then you will see the possibility of a gods beauty.
