i am completely fucking done with uni. i don't know why, wether i am just plain retarded, burned out, unmotivated or all of it at once, but i cannot take an ounce more of this shit if i tried. I just had my imperative programming exam, and it went like absolute shit.
I was 100% prepared on solving whatever problem i could've had and everything went like shit. same goes for calculus 2, which i had 5 days ago: prepared, go in, start going balls to the wall, and when i read the test is like my brain goes complete ape mode and i forget everything i studied. hands trembling , foggy mind, high heart rate and messy (i'm talking spaghetti) writing.
I never did well in school, i hated the fuck outta middle school, i hated high school a little less(i took a gap year to work but never projected having to go to school again) , and i can't say i hate uni more than i hate myself. at least you're not treated like a toddler anymore.
During said gap year i decided to go back to school because every job i could land was waiter,barman,cook, food service in general. I was decent at it, but never enough to excel. I went to uni after realising that a life like that meant selling all the time i had for a little wage and no hope of advancing in the field
What the fuck am i supposed to do about this? am i just fucking retarded? during midterm I had 5 exams and I passed only 2. granted it's my first year but still, why do i fucking suck at it so much ?