I'm not asking for advice and I already know I'm kinda fucked. I guess I'm just looking to relate...
All of the college admissions are done and I now know that 100% I will be going to a shitty school. I feel fucking horrible and I just want to kinda quite trying at STEM. I wasn't disadvantaged, I don't get any pity points. I didn't try hard enough in high school and I didn't realize the significance of going to a good school but I'm not fooling myself when I say that, I know I'm not smart. There are tons of people who put just as much effort as I did and got into MIT/ivies or whatever.
Sometimes I think to myself, "hey, you can always just try really hard in college undergrad and then get into a good place for your masters." But who am I kidding? I'm not going to suddenly change into some genius or start grinding math, I'm just going to play video games and do nothing.
I've been scanning the web for people who feel like their in a similar place to feel but I haven't really seen anything like that (maybe I'm just blind). But I just want some solace in the fact that I'm not the only fuck-up who regrets where they are now.