So excuse me if I say anything incoherent, I'm tired and english is not my language.

This issue has been keeping me awake at night, probably because I'm an insecure dumb fuck and got nothing going on for me in life other than thinking I'm better than others. but I've arrived to the conclusion that trying to gauge my own intelligence is futile, because if I'm dumb, it's outside of my scope of understanding and I'm going to validate any thoughts I have in this echo chamber known as brain regardless if they are right or wrong.

On the other hand I have no achievements to validate this feeling of superiority, I can't say that I'm good at math or physics. I'm an irregular mess, last midtern for physics I studied and ace'd it, I spent the same amount of time studying for math and completely bombed it. Am I just an imbecile trying to mingle with things outside of his own scope of understanding?

If I was as smart as I think I am, wouldn't I have little to no issue with academic life?