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Well I'm curious. Would each sperm be a q-bit and the seminal fluid the quantum superposition trying to resolve?
Like each sperm lives out its multiverse ancestral expansion pattern and then that one quantum superiority sperm passes through the condom because that kid needs to be born to provide you the progenitor with maximum payout.
An entire multiverse of potential subspawn that invent time travel to increase their odds of their progenitor sperm being the successful ones.
Coud even pipe the results to some digital display for future playback to see how far some got or for play of the day style stuff.