>inb4 don't smoke
I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and a couple of anxiety disorders around 5 years ago. I was in high school, and it sucked but at least I was able to pass everything with good grades cause it wasn't that hard and I didn't have to study, I didn't have friends back then so I couldn't do anything but pay attention during classes.
I got worse in college. I'm not able to concentrated at all, my head usually start thinking shit that I'm not able to control so I can't pay attention to what I'm doing (is not just when I study, it happens with almost everything), then I start getting anxious as fuck cause I won't be able to study everything for the next class, and my mind start thinking bullshit even faster, next day I feel like shit cause I didn't learned a shit during a whole day so I can't even leave bed. Repeat.
The thing is that I found two things that helps me concentrate, mostly reducing anxiety. I still having a shitty concentration but at least I can do something (not as much as I would need but whatever). First one is eating. I eat healthy stuff but if you spend the whole day munching you will eventually get fatter and I want to loose weight so I needed something else. Second one was smoking, and I don't want to fuck up my lunges so I don't smoke a lot (2 cigs per day average), is it really that bad? I don't care that much about cancer, but I don't want to ruin my skin. I've been smoking for about 2 years. I only increased the amount of cigs a year ago while working. During holidays I barely smoke (2 cigs per week average).
>inb4 try medication
I did. Benzos are really helpful when I'm having a panic attack or when I'm about to have one. Or when I start to overthink at night and I can't sleep. But if I take them daily I just spend the whole day in bed. I tried SSRIs too, for about a year, and they made me feel even worse.
If you can think in something else to help me focus I would really appreciate it.