Why am I always evil in my hallucinations? I've been lying to my doctors since 2016 about what I see. The vast majority of the time I see myself in 3rd person and I'm unable to do anything but watch as a person who looks and sounds exactly like me carries out extremely violent and despicable acts against people I do not recognize. Even my tamer ones are still me being evil extortion and blackmail are frequent themes within larger stories.

Over the years I have learned to just ignore it but I'm now starting to dream about my hallucinations and the whole thing plays out again in my dream except it now has a major impact on me emotionally and basically it fucks me up. In reality I'm a very empathetic person I can't even be near someone who is crying because I so easily take on the emotions of others. I have considered telling my doctor the truth but I realize that won't stop what I see and will result in me getting put on a the crazy list.