>>11573472Philosophically I was becoming an addict to the activity, with the repeating mindset of needing to read a certain book or understand an author, math subject or certain school of thought at a good level with the belief that my own system of thought would become complete after it but it never happened, only a brief feeling of it before arguing myself out of it. I basically got stuck inside my mind the moment I turned about 16 and was stuck there for 5 years seeking something. I do not regret all that I read, it lead to my peace but your image visualizes the process accurately. I felt like I was trapped in a pressure cooker before getting out.
I don't believe I can give a map of how I got out, just seek Dhy?na and avoid the monkey mind. I use buddhists terms here but am not specifically a buddhist.
I can say that you were given tools as a child, language, math and so on to comprehend existence better and communicate with others and your environment. There is little problem with this as long as you comprehend what you are using. The main problem that most exist in is when they stop to understand what they are using, take it for granted and are given a type of simulation of perception to reside in. This is what happens very often in therapy which so many try to push people into, it happens in school too.
You may feel pride as you reach some conviction making you believe that you understand an entirety and its complexity but you do not. You can however escape the multiple falsities that people and yourself build around your own perception. Use language, thinking, math, observation, measurement, experimentation, etc but do not get stuck in the things which you and others can create out of them.
