>23
>have never struggled to understand anything conceptually
>physics, calculus, economics, languages, psychology
>was at the reading age of a 12 year old at age 4
>was top 5 in pretty much all my classes of 120+ students in high school
>this was while being very, very depressed, barely sleeping, addicted to degenerate porn, too socially anxious to leave the house, sitting on my own every day in school and hiding in bathrooms at break, abusive father, bipolar mother, no friends
>get into college for computer engineering at a good university in my country
>still the same as usual, no longer coasting but able to put in enough effort to get average marks and be at the same level as my peers
>no real interest in what I'm studying, literally feel dead inside and clinically depressed, in my own head all the time, too weird for authentic relationships where I "be myself", put on different personas around different people from years of reading self help books and social psychology, learned how to be likeable and ingratiate myself with different groups of people through sales jobs and "fake it till you make it!", people have actually called me charming and charismatic, say I have a beautiful smile. I feel like such a fraud
>have never struggled to understand anything conceptually
>physics, calculus, economics, languages, psychology
>was at the reading age of a 12 year old at age 4
>was top 5 in pretty much all my classes of 120+ students in high school
>this was while being very, very depressed, barely sleeping, addicted to degenerate porn, too socially anxious to leave the house, sitting on my own every day in school and hiding in bathrooms at break, abusive father, bipolar mother, no friends
>get into college for computer engineering at a good university in my country
>still the same as usual, no longer coasting but able to put in enough effort to get average marks and be at the same level as my peers
>no real interest in what I'm studying, literally feel dead inside and clinically depressed, in my own head all the time, too weird for authentic relationships where I "be myself", put on different personas around different people from years of reading self help books and social psychology, learned how to be likeable and ingratiate myself with different groups of people through sales jobs and "fake it till you make it!", people have actually called me charming and charismatic, say I have a beautiful smile. I feel like such a fraud
