hey math addicts, i have a question but in order to understand it fully you need to know a little about my background.
>age 14
>low IQ with ADHD faggot
>depression and confusion and all the other baby crying excuses.
>age 24
>starting learning programming really like it.
>2 years later still a code monkey(no math background whatsoever)
>want to get my IQ = IQ + 1
>starting learning math
>use mostly kahan academy and a youtube channel called "Insights into Mathematics"
>want to learn it good and slow to get it to the core

any tips, sources, suggestion, or just any other back to reality remarks?
thanks anyway /sci/