>>11478999I don't think I need that, I'm not crazy or mentally ill, it's the people around me, they're the ones making my life hell, or rather they've been making my lfe hell since I was a little kid, it's all their fault, they fucked me up from the start, Ibcould be a IMO medalist if I had the training, but they were so clueless that they just let me do whatever I wanted, no that's wrong, they let me do whatever THEY wanted and it never crossed their fucking minds that I could be something big, I always dreamed of that golden medal ever since I was 15 but it was already too late for IMO, then it became too late in college as well and now it's too late for everything.
All that is in the past anyway, I don't care anymore, I can cope with my dreams being wasted, or rather, I could if I at least had a girlfriend. Actually not A girlfriend, I'm talking about THE girlfriend. It's probably too pathetic for all of you, but I've been in love for the same girl for about 2 years and you know what's funny about all that? I never even talked to her once. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, IT'S SO FUCKING PATHETIC, I THINK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME, I KNOW A TON OF THINGS ABOUT HER LIFE, I KNOW HER NAME, HER FACEBOOK ACCOUNT, THE PAPERS SHE PUBLISHED, WHY CAN'T I FUCKING DO SOMETHING? WHY AM I SUCH A COWARD?
I've already gave up on my dreams, all that's keeping me alive is the light of hope that she feels the same about me, I mean it is possible isn't it? I noticed she looks at me sometimes, maybe it's just my imagination but I like to think she finds me attractive at the very least, but even then I can't talk to her, if her answer is not what I expect then it would truly be the end of the line for me, so I guess I'll just have to keep living in doubt forever until she marries another guy, but even then maybe she'll still think of me who knows. God has cursed me in this terrible, pathetic, humilliating life.
If only I was born intelligent, then I could forget about love and all that stuff.
