If the societal collapse doesn't kill us, then I was wondering if any of you could tell me how much better I'll feel if I quit my porn addiction now and never fap again.

I made a promise to commit suicide if I got to my 21st birthday without being able to have dropped my porn addiction beforehand. I made this promise when I turned 20 years of age, since then, I have not had any success in trying to drop my porn addiction. The reason why I'm asking here is because I was wondering if any endocrinologists could tell me if I would feel better by the end of my 20th year, if I stopped masturbating now. I only have 98 days left until my 21st birthday, and my will to live wanes.

I want to commit suicide if I reach my 21st birthday still being a porn addict because I'm tired of my porn addiction making life hell for me, and the doctors didn't do shit for me when I was admitted to a psychiatric ward for a month.

Pic related is me keeping track of all the days I've wasted to my porn addiction. I have literally hundreds of these saved on my phone. I screen capped how many days had passed since my 20th birthday every day that I relapsed.