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I have the same experience. You've seen past the curtain. The universe is a matrix, a giant binary branching tree of the infinite possibilities determined by quantum particles being observed and collapsing from their superposition state.
Every decision we make is based on the random collapse of the particles that make up our brain, and so our consciousness is innately intertwined with the fabric of the universe itself. Each one of us, if we make decisions to radically different to the status quo, can irreparably separate our consciousness from the universe we were born in -- inhabiting that one while a carbon copy of us before making said decisions stays behind to inhabit the original one.
Since our consciousness exists as the quantum entanglement of our brain matter as opposed to the matter itself, we are essentially a complex energy pattern inhabiting a physical vessel, rather than the vessel itself. As such, we are able to pick up subconsciously on the strings between our grey matter and the rest of the particles in the universe. This is what causes telepathy, or what normal people refer to as "being on the same wavelength," which is ironic as it is unintentionally an accurate description of what is going on. It also allows us to control our fate by our expectations, desires and beliefs influencing the collapsed state of photons, allowing us to fabricate events and impose them on the universe around us.
Thing is, our path is determined by variables set in stone before our birth. So none of this matters. So the problem is that someone with enough intelligence and enough autism to pick up on the patterns that show you these truths is bound to realize they have control of the universe but no control over themselves, which is more depressing than vice versa.
I'm sorry.
