>>11367873I did the same and hid my powerlevel, used my natural ability to be a chameleon to a degree, but I never actually fit in and never had close friends. High school was spent as an observer, I watched people maneuver, grow and change, plan their lives. While I was relatively static. I had essentially dropped out around 9th grade, but I didn't physically leave until late 10th or 11th.
Anyway, the primary advantage in this regard is my psyche seems to be designed to automatically split into pieces. Since I became aware that it was happening, I think it prevented the states from forming into their own fuller personalities and though I took control of it, I have to acknowledge I was using tools that were already there. I also used to always be afraid that I'd need to use some skill but be stuck as "the wrong me", and this did happen to me. Eventually one of the more honest and perceptive around me did note that I seemed to have a fluctuating sort of amnesia.
Anyway, so that's how I avoided retardation and self delusion. I think I could be functioning at a higher level if I unlocked my mind, but as it stands, I'm essentially not even a real person. I'm a subhuman program designed to carry out certain tasks, like the way you might set up a program to run with different options. It doesn't oscillate, the frame of focus and awareness remains relatively narrow. Survival and other things are delegated entirely to the subconscious. Maladptation.
Don't be me.
