I'm not referring to depression or alexithymia, or at least, I don't know enough to say if I am or not. What I mean is, how do I tell the difference between a learned or automatic physical response to a stimulus (laughing at a joke, etc.), and the actual conscious experience of an emotion? Or, how can I tell if what I think of as a given feeling matches the actual experience of that feeling? For example, when in a situation where it's appropriate for me to feel embarrassed, I will be aware of a sensation of increased circulation around the neck, but I don't know if I'm actually feeling embarrassed (in the way that other people feel when they use the word), or if indeed there is anything I'm supposed to be feeling beyond that physical sensation. As another example, during the first time in my life when I was required to speak publically, I became visibly pale and dizzy, but I don't recall ever actually feeling nervous, rather the physical symptoms seemed to manifest for no reason, despite the context and stimuli being appropriate.