So I came here because I figured if I talked about this in person with anyone I'd probably get put in a psych ward. I honestly feel like I'm starting to go insane, like full blown schizophrenia. How do we know that any of this shit that we're being taught or doing is even true? I'm a Junior in college right now as a Chemistry major, and the more I learn the more it seems like there's no way reality isn't a simulation.

So the most uncomfortable aspect is that every single natural phenomena seems to be able to be explained by a mathematical equation. It seems like the deeper I get, the more it seems like our physical world was designed by higher being/society/whatever the fuck.

If this is the case, then what's the point of doing anything? Who decides whether or not whatever research this higher being is doing is even worth it. Can they restart the simulation? Are they allowed to interfere? Is everything I do predetermined and free will doesn't exist?

If we continue to discover the unknown, to the point where we can either simulate the exact circumstances of any situation then it seems like everything will come crumbling down. If we could predict the future with mathematics/physics/chemistry, down to the atom by atom of what you will look like, what decisions you will make, who you will become, how your entire life will play out, then what's even the point of living?

To me it seems like there's two possibilities.
1. Truman Show style - the most narcissistic I can get and that I'm the only one who has free will and everything reacts accordingly. Everyone knows what I think and what I do and I would assume is laughing at my struggle.
2. I'm the NPC to someone else's Truman Show, and everything I do is decided for their life.

I've come pretty close to death a few times in life. How do I know that this wasn't the simulation preventing it from happening because I'm meant to do something important. Or, that it was more than likely just dumb luck.