>>11280600Exactly and I hate myself for it and it gets even worse when I can't stop replaying memories in my mind of times when I overshared to girls I had only ever spoken to in passing and felt like I had a connection with them and told them about all of my failings as a man, my mental issues, my fears, how I'm obsessed with them etc and just ended up losing any respect they had for me as an adult or a human and then I promise I'll never bother anyone ever again until the next one captivates me and I'm left thinking about them for years, having dreams about them, the aching feelings and remembering how good they made me feel, having her relate to me or break the politeness barrier, how perceptive they are, how you forget how sensitive to stimuli normal people are, feel the good chemicals it gives you in your brain to be validated at that moment like this, start smiling uncontrollably the rest of the day, forget about all my problems for a few minutes, think about our possible life together and have to hold back tears, have romantic dreams with them, feel anxious/jealous of other guys making them laugh or making physical contact, want to know everything about them, want them to know everything about you and how much they mean to you
How do you stop wanting someone to fix you? How do you stop feeling lonely? How do you stop replaying everything in your head and realising how pathetic and far behind you are in every metric and how slow you are in manipulation compared to other people who run circles around you
