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I got up and hurried off to my backyard. When I returned, I had one of my own chickens in my hands.
“Listen, bitches. Here’s what I’m gonna do. Since I’m all benevolent and shit, I’ll give you one chicken of my own.”
I put my chicken with theirs.
Their faces lit up like the bulb in a firefly’s ass.
“There, now you have 36 chickens. And now if we divide them according to your loser dad’s will, you’ll each have more than your actual share, since we’re starting with one extra chicken. Agreed?”
All of them nodded.
“Okay... Eldest one, come forward. 36 divided by 2 is 18. Here are your 18 chicken. Now, off you go!”
He took his chicken and left.
“Middle child, step forth. 36 divided by 3 is 12. Here’s your 12 chicken. Go, live your life like a free bird.”
He took them and left.
“Li’l one, hop up. 36 divided by 9 is 4. Here’s your 4 chicken, thank you very much. Now, off you fuck!”
The kid took ’em and hurried after his brothers.
Here’s the funny part though. I gave 18 chicken to the eldest son, 12 to middle one and 4 to the youngest.
18+12+4 = 34
Which means I have 2 chicken left!
One of them was my own.
And the other one?
Ladies and gentlemen, while you’re trying to figure out where that extra chicken came from, I’ll be in the kitchen preparing my *ahem *ahem “dinner”.
Valar chickulis!
