>>11197647Calculus is boring as fuck and not at all beautiful, so that's actually a good sign.
I think the best place to start gaining an appreciation for the "beauty" of math is applied math, specifically economics, linguistics, biology, and philosophy (mainly because they're more accessible than physics) and concrete math, i.e. elementary number theory, combinatorics, formal logic, and basic group theory. Most importantly though, if you're doing this on your own, realize that ypu probably wont get very far with just textbooks. You'll also need YouTube videos or something pike that because most maths textbooks don't provide any intuition or motivation for the subject.
I would also reccomend getting into monographs and research articles as soon as possible (the best place to start is with so-called "review articles" or "historical surveys"). E.g. if any anons know logic and have any interest in philosophy, I recently read a great monograph called Knowledge and Belief by this philosopher Jaako Hintikka.