Failed at Calculus III
Failed at Statistics
Failed at ODE
Failed at Numerical Analysis
Failed at Physics I
I am a failure, I just failed in every single subject this semester. All my life I thought I was somewhat special, I realized I wasn't a genius, but I thought I was somewhat above average people, that was what kept me going, what motivated me to go foward. I thought that if I put enough effort in my studies I could compete with the genius. But then I entered college and I wasn't putting any effort at all. All my grades were trash in the first 3 semesters. I was set on changing it this semester, but in the end it turned out to be the same as always. My mind and body would rather spent time watching anime or surfing the web than sitting down and studying. Yeah, I could blame procrastination for my failures, but this would be only deceiving myself into thinking that if not for procrastination I could still amount for something. Truth is, I will never do anything relevant in this life, no matter how hard I try. The people that started with me are all moving foward, getting results, to think that I used to look down on them at the beginning, as if they were below me, what a joke. Now I understand that I was the one below them all along. Don't get me wrong, most of them ate not genius, but they still get results, why can't I can't results as well? Why do I have to fail at every single thing? I understand now, it's because I'm even below average. They might not be a fields winner, but they'll still do great things with just their efforts alone. That's just what I wanted, but I can't even get that. This semester opened my eyes to something that I refused to see: I am nothing, I am trash, I will never do anything, I'll probably not even finish my degree, no matter how much effort I put I will still fail.
Failed at Statistics
Failed at ODE
Failed at Numerical Analysis
Failed at Physics I
I am a failure, I just failed in every single subject this semester. All my life I thought I was somewhat special, I realized I wasn't a genius, but I thought I was somewhat above average people, that was what kept me going, what motivated me to go foward. I thought that if I put enough effort in my studies I could compete with the genius. But then I entered college and I wasn't putting any effort at all. All my grades were trash in the first 3 semesters. I was set on changing it this semester, but in the end it turned out to be the same as always. My mind and body would rather spent time watching anime or surfing the web than sitting down and studying. Yeah, I could blame procrastination for my failures, but this would be only deceiving myself into thinking that if not for procrastination I could still amount for something. Truth is, I will never do anything relevant in this life, no matter how hard I try. The people that started with me are all moving foward, getting results, to think that I used to look down on them at the beginning, as if they were below me, what a joke. Now I understand that I was the one below them all along. Don't get me wrong, most of them ate not genius, but they still get results, why can't I can't results as well? Why do I have to fail at every single thing? I understand now, it's because I'm even below average. They might not be a fields winner, but they'll still do great things with just their efforts alone. That's just what I wanted, but I can't even get that. This semester opened my eyes to something that I refused to see: I am nothing, I am trash, I will never do anything, I'll probably not even finish my degree, no matter how much effort I put I will still fail.
