>>11140017Your view of other people is limited. You need to accept that you don't know everything, your mental model of women is incomplete. Seek to understand more about individuals, rather than judging them prematurely.
You can't hold eye contact. It's overwhelming. You get instant feedback from another soul, every microexpression you make tells them something and every microexpression of their reaction tells you something back. Looking into another persons eyes is looking at all your own flaws. You can't hide from yourself anymore when you look into another persons eyes. You have limiting beliefs about people, and you cope a lot. These beliefs serve as success barriers, essentially you self sabotage so that you don't have to face negative emotion.
First thing I would do if I were you is to try and understand that the thoughts and beliefs you have aren't necessarily true. Grab a pen, keep asking 'Why?'. Ask yourself questions like a journalist trying to get under your skin. DO this exercise often, just in your head works too, don't let yourself off the hook.
You can also try to just keep writing whatever crosses your mind, you must keep words flowing no matter how stupid they are, then re-read that and try to spot if some parts of your subconscious are based on shaky foundations. You can even create exercises for yourself, challenges that can fix the blindspots you see.
I also wouldn't be surprised if you have some trauma, or that you just really hate yourself. Whether major or just small shit racked up across the years, try to dig that shit up, really feel it again, and cry as much as you can, ugly face and all. Try to derive as much wisdom as possible from negative experiences, suck the juice out of it. It's feedback, so you can update your view of the world. Keep learning, eventually you leave twisted paradigms behind.
