So I kind of shared a mental state akin to that of a NPC up until the end of my teenager years and I don't know why. Basically I was unable to have inner monologues within myself but only realized the magnitude of the problem after I started having them at the adult age, thing is, despite being a mediocre student, I always read books from time to time usually related to fantasy, like Lotr, Asoiaf, etc. and read stuff on the internet from the most varying topics.

The question I want to pose is: why didn't I have a normal life with a thinking brain? I mean, I never had any trouble doing stuff academically and just expressed my thoughts reflexively like I'm doing now while writing this post i.e with no inner monologue involved, just typing what goes on my head on the blue.

I was never really into books, puzzles or academic stuff while I was a kid and only liked to play videogames. Did any of you guys shared a similar childhood experience but still developed the ability of having inner monologues as a child? Is there any scientific consensus about it or is it just a normal occurrence in the human population? As you can see now, I am a pretty normal guy cognitively speaking, and as a child I was too, just not in the part of thinking internally. I never fluked a grade and was pretty social in the nerd sense (had 3 or 4 friends).

So, what is up with me?