>>11039653If, for whatever reason, I did go to a specialist and confirm my suspicion—and my meta-suspicion that my original suspicion will be confirmed is not merely ungrounded paranoia, evident by my symptoms’ collective peculiarity—then not only will my body slowly decay, but my soul as well. The relief I would feel from being told that I am suffering from something far more banal than MS is inconsequential when compared to the sheer weight of facing suicide without the solace of uncertainty - and I lack the courage to face the disease if I, by doing so, risk losing such a comfort.
