AS much as i'd like to only get pleasure from science and math, I had an incident 3 weeks ago that screwed me up.
You see,i used to think i didn't need easy social pleasures because i can get all pleasure from math and science. e.g. the fun of graphing surfaces, and the fun of mixing chemicals and doing organic synthesis. But then on the first week of my 4th semester, i was late to an 8 am and missed a quiz . I freaked out and felt like world ending, cuz it feels pathetic to enjoy math when you fukked up a mpart of the class. I decided i needed to get some social pleasure as backup for when my math and science pleasure don't work out. so I went to thrift store and bought women's clothes, then tripped balls on LSD while walking around campus in women's clothes. I got social pleasure of socially presenting a cute appearance (i am a small cute male), and pleasure of how beautiful is is that humans can pick out any clothes and socially present them to the public to self express identity. Well now it backfired. My dad confronted me over the "girly stuff" and said I'm making him depressed, that i'm ruining the future he works so hard for, etc. Saying i can't get a job or talk to professors because society will ridicule me for not conforming and being a handsome boy and acting like a boy.
I already spent too much money on girly clothes. I still neeed some kind of social pleasure as a backup for the inevitable mistakes in math/science.
You see,i used to think i didn't need easy social pleasures because i can get all pleasure from math and science. e.g. the fun of graphing surfaces, and the fun of mixing chemicals and doing organic synthesis. But then on the first week of my 4th semester, i was late to an 8 am and missed a quiz . I freaked out and felt like world ending, cuz it feels pathetic to enjoy math when you fukked up a mpart of the class. I decided i needed to get some social pleasure as backup for when my math and science pleasure don't work out. so I went to thrift store and bought women's clothes, then tripped balls on LSD while walking around campus in women's clothes. I got social pleasure of socially presenting a cute appearance (i am a small cute male), and pleasure of how beautiful is is that humans can pick out any clothes and socially present them to the public to self express identity. Well now it backfired. My dad confronted me over the "girly stuff" and said I'm making him depressed, that i'm ruining the future he works so hard for, etc. Saying i can't get a job or talk to professors because society will ridicule me for not conforming and being a handsome boy and acting like a boy.
I already spent too much money on girly clothes. I still neeed some kind of social pleasure as a backup for the inevitable mistakes in math/science.
