>>10928048A positivist atheist virgin MIT physics professor and Dr Who fan was teaching a class on Newton, known autist
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship science, and accept that it's the only way, and any other thing is superstition!"
At this moment, a brave, intelligent, continental philosopher, who has written 1500 essays on topics such as free will, and understood the necessity of ontology and fully supported all ways of knowing stood up and held a rock.
"What IS this rock?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite geekishly and smugly replied "A mixture of quartz and other minerals you low IQ jock"
"Fool, for you have taken the identity of this object as a mere composition of it's part, but you failed to define an essence. If everything were just atoms... then you yourself would be indistinguishable from a rock"
The professor was visibly shaken and dropped his chalk and a copy of A Brief History of Time. He stormed out of the room crying those asthma induced crocodile tears. The same tears scientists cry for the "scientifically illiterate" (who today live much worse lives thanks to technology and science) when they jealously try to claw profound epistemological models from true thinkers. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Sheldor Leonard, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a mere lab monkey. He wished that he could defend himself in writing, but he himself had petitioned against "useless" rethoric classes!
The students applauded and all debated the nature of being that day and accepted the duality of their minds. An eagle named "Will to Power" flew in into the room and looked deeply into the void. The original formulation of the categorical imperative was read several times, and Nietzsche himself showed up and called science gay.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died after doing genetic testing on himself and not reviewing the ethical concerns.
