My existence revolves around this practice. I've been hyper focused on the subtle influences that dictate behavior and actions. I obsess over cause and effect, actions and consequences, and all of the mechanisms involved in how we react to our existence. And in the midst of this endeavor, i have become quite mindless. It seems to be necessary in order to excel at emotional discipline and control.

tl;dr I want to be able to have 100% control over my emotions/emotional reactions. Thing is, i still don't know what the fuck i would do if i ever got it. I guess just communicate with people in the midst of it and see if i can change people drastically in a few moments.

What could i do to get better? How stunted is my perception in terms of realism? I really don't know.