What if my OCD isn't OCD? What if it is real? I can't help it. If I don't perform the rituals, I feel like a loser. I feel like I will never amount to anything. I will never become great. How can I be great if I can't even perform these dumb rituals?
I hate it so much. It is ruining my life. I want to cry and yell and break everything. It has been 2 years of this hell on earth. It's like a prison cell that shrinks every day. If i attempt to remove a ritual or make it less intensive, i will then compensate by adding another ritual or making another existing ritual more intensive. I don't know what to do anymore. My life is completely paralzyed. I can't do anything anymore.