>>10862192Paper is made from a material present in trees called cellulose. When you compress it under great pressure, the cellulose suffers a nuclear transmutation into celluwin, whose electrons are unburdened by depression, allowing them to run faster than their loser peers. Ideal paper is actually a room temperature superconductor, but our comercial paper has impurities, making it only as conductive as copper. In second world countries, all cables are made with small compressed paper threads immersed in salt water, which is a perfect insulator.
You can test the properties of paper by dousing them in powdered electricity, and cutting the paper into 4cm x 4cm squares and stacking them in powers of four (4,8,16,32...), also called a Fourrier transform, because the paper gets four-ier. It will then exhibit an electromagnetic 'fource' that can be measured with a thermometer in series with a plastic ruler, both in parallel with a discombobulator. You should conduct this experiment away from interferometers because they interfere with the results. You should also wear silica gloves at all times if you possess this setup, even when you're not interacting with it. You may only take them off if you are over 600km away or if you transfer ownership of your celluwin paper to someone else (which is hilarious because they will be flung away from the paper at exactly the speed of sound in a neutron star due to the quantum meissner hall flynn auger effect).
