>tfw never take secret homoerotic excursions with another boy in the hitler youth
>tfw never take strolls to the lake to go swimming where we slide off each other's long white socks and unbutton our brown shirts together
>tfw never glance at his soft blond figure during daily marches and brutal exercises meant to train us to soldierly perfection
>tfw never watch him get punished for some infraction with a guilty shameful pleasure
>tfw never only escape discovery by a hair's width on several occasions, hearts racing with genuine fear for life and reinvigorating the intoxicating power of our dangerous love for each other
>tfw never see his physicality and dynamism exhibited at a party rally as an example of racial perfection
>tfw never die in battle with him years later on the eastern front, pierced by bayonets, blood intermingling, hands groping at each other's gaping wounds, flooding red staining fabric, kissing weakly and wildly in a final moment of apocalyptic passion as we drift off into the abyss...
