>>3216302>>3216306Lotta stuff to unpack here.
First of all - you're literally never too old for a con, that's all in your mind, cons are there to share in mutual interests and make new friends along the way.
Second - You will likely NEVER find someone who shares ALL of your kinks, artistic vision, etc. I had a co-author friend and even though we developed our ideas together over 10 years and had a lot of fun doing it, we still would have very different notions of how x character would look or dress or act. You could have an identical twin with the exact same thoughts and ideas and you still wouldn't come up with the same things.
The way I see it, you've got 3 options if you want a decent enough drawfag to go along with what you want.
1) You save up a lot and you commission an artist(s) a couple of pieces to get your ideas off the ground. If you want more things, you could then use these pieces to request more in the draw thread and hope someone bites.
2) You start writing in a public forum like Tumblr, archiveofourown, wattpad, etc and hope that whoever reads it likes it, and maybe someone will like it enough to want to draw you some things. The quality will vary, but any exposure is good exposure.
3)Write a novel/manuscript. Get it published. Hope it's a success and move forward from there.
4) You suck it up and learn how to drawfag. I know you've said you've tried, but the reality of the situation is only you know what you want. The ideas and thoughts you have will be reproducible on paper with time and practice, practice, practice. You will be shit at first. You will be shit for a long time. But that's the case for any skill you start out with, so you just need to suck it up and power through it.
I'm speaking as someone who started out as a writefag, tried drawfagging, sucked at it but now work hard to do both. I know what I want, I know how I want it to look and the only thing keeping me back is myself. It'll take time, but anything worth doing needs time.
