/cm/, i'm a 23 yr old male. I'm gay, but possibly prison gay (ie. was raised in kind of a puritanical christian home where sexuality of any kind was never discussed in a positive light, was homeschooled when I hit puberty, and basically only ever hung out with my guy friends, and so became attracted to them). I'm willing to accept that I'm completely gay, and that's fine, but i may be bi, and i'll be honest, the gay lifestyle doesn't appeal to me. It only appeals to me in this fantasy way where if like, i were living out a real life Kaworu/Shin or Haru/Makoto i'd be fine with it. Of course, those characters are teens, and I'm 23. They're also perfectly attractive, and I put on a freshman 15lbs at College, am still gaining weight (plus have asthma that makes it difficult to excercise at all), have bad skin, and don't look good when I shave my beard (look like I have a 5 o'clock shadow even when I shave, because my skin is so white). I'm aging twinkmode and it sucks.
So like, i've been thinking i might be able to settle down with a girl ... or maybe i've been thinking that i /need/ to, because my life is in a downward trajectory otherwise. I'm still holding out for a scientific breathrough that will let me be a cutemale forever and settle down with mr. right, but i just ... i need help.
I don't even have my thoughts sorted out about all this.
If I were to settle down with a girl for a while, i guess my main thing is that she would need to be someone that appreciates /cm/ and /y/ and stuff and could understand that i appreciate that stuff as well.
Is that an unrealistic expectation? Is there anything about this that isn't autistic? haha


Sort yourself out thread I guess...