>>3113223the fear of being a burden and rejection is something i relate to pretty heavily. i can tell you what helped me out, but remember that a lot of the issues you mentioned are rooted in past experiences or deeper emotional trauma, and are ultimately resolved in a case by case basis. i still have a shitload of work to do as far as developing my character and becoming happier with myself, but here is what made a lot of difference:
optimism is essential. it sounds like you're pretty young, so accepting a defeatist attitude of the world so early is not good. i would keep in mind a place where you want to be. think about what you want, and envision a life that is fully attainable that would make you happy. just take a breath and be honest with yourself. don't set your sights too high right away--we don't live in a fantasy anime world after all--and think about the kinds of things that need to happen to put yourself on that path. and once you can see that path, know that it is possible. be optimistic.
keep a good mood. do what makes you happy. it sounds cliched, but exercise, eating right, time for meditation, reading--these things help more than you can imagine. hell, it's hard, but running 3-4 times a week works wonders for your body and mind. the point is that once you can be in the right headspace things like optimism and hope become tremendously easier.
most of all, try to love yourself. you sound like a smart, earnest, special guy. believe it. you are more good than you believe. if i see it from a couple paragraphs of text, others will see it too.
