>>14268472>cureEventually you just learn to deal with it as you get more rational with age. It's not about being tidy or doing repetitive behaviors, those are just coping mechanisms for having uncontrollable negative thoughts. Several people in my family including me have it in our genes I guess. My cousin when she was younger for instance used to take forever to do math and writing because she felt the need to curve every pointed letter because she had negative thoughts of knives and needles and that translated into pointy shaped calligraphy bothering her. Once she figured this out she got help and developed a way to ignore/suppress it and now she's fine and has passed college with flying colors.
I have these unwanted thoughts just pop into my head like it's from another persons mind/life experience. Sometimes these terrible/sad thoughts come in my head about bad things either happening to me or me doing it to someone else I know. Sometimes I'm not even me, I'm someone else having a bad experience with someone I don't even know. This is what led to me to do things like organizing my shit and check myself in the mirror to "make sure I was actually me" as well as checking to make sure doors were locked. Shit is weird.
Now that I'm older the mirror issue kind of just went away and it's easier to bypass these machinations when they come. The organizing is nice though, I know where everything is which helps save lots of time when you have incoherent irrational thoughts constantly interfering with what you're doing.
