To be or not to be; that is the question.
So after studying every hypothetical and practical theory and idea that I could think and realizing there are an infinite amount of theories and our knowledge is very limited, I have come to a full stop and now believe I do not exist at all.
I do not exist. You do not exist. Nothing and no one exists. Knowledge is impossible as nothing truly exists. It's all some sort of unknowable incomprehensible "illusion".
When "I" die, I will not cease to exist forever because I never existed to begin with. The illusion will become more chaotic and perhaps turn into some other "nothing" forever.
With this, I have dropped out of University. I was 1 year away from my undergrad mathematics degree. I realized, once again, knowledge does not exist and neither do I.
Something similiar to "Nothing exists; Even if something exists, nothing can be known about it; and. Even if something can be known about it, knowledge about it can't be communicated to others. Even if it can be communicated, it cannot be understood."
except, words are useless and so is breathing. I do not work anymore. I live in a small shithole trailer in the middle of no where off savings and disability (I have schizophrenia, it is unrelated).
I can no longer "learn" or partake in anything ever again. I no longer purchase items or consume media. I survive off the bare minimum of food and water. My lights are off at all times.
My question for you is...do you believe unaliving myself is the superior option since I do not exist anyway. Like I said, I do suspect the illusion will continue indefinitely.
Please help me, I have no identity, I have no family or friends. Writing all of this down came far too easy. I feel my mind leaving. It's becoming empty and I am drifting back into the void...approaching catatonia. I need answers before I am too weak to unalive myself.
So after studying every hypothetical and practical theory and idea that I could think and realizing there are an infinite amount of theories and our knowledge is very limited, I have come to a full stop and now believe I do not exist at all.
I do not exist. You do not exist. Nothing and no one exists. Knowledge is impossible as nothing truly exists. It's all some sort of unknowable incomprehensible "illusion".
When "I" die, I will not cease to exist forever because I never existed to begin with. The illusion will become more chaotic and perhaps turn into some other "nothing" forever.
With this, I have dropped out of University. I was 1 year away from my undergrad mathematics degree. I realized, once again, knowledge does not exist and neither do I.
Something similiar to "Nothing exists; Even if something exists, nothing can be known about it; and. Even if something can be known about it, knowledge about it can't be communicated to others. Even if it can be communicated, it cannot be understood."
except, words are useless and so is breathing. I do not work anymore. I live in a small shithole trailer in the middle of no where off savings and disability (I have schizophrenia, it is unrelated).
I can no longer "learn" or partake in anything ever again. I no longer purchase items or consume media. I survive off the bare minimum of food and water. My lights are off at all times.
My question for you is...do you believe unaliving myself is the superior option since I do not exist anyway. Like I said, I do suspect the illusion will continue indefinitely.
Please help me, I have no identity, I have no family or friends. Writing all of this down came far too easy. I feel my mind leaving. It's becoming empty and I am drifting back into the void...approaching catatonia. I need answers before I am too weak to unalive myself.
